


Absolution

by anythingbutplatonic



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: 4x21, Episode Related, F/M, Felicity accidentally became a mass-murderer and she feels terrible about it, Grief, Guilt, Missing Scene Fic, Monument Point, Oliver shares his pearls of wisdom, and supports Felicity, episode reaction fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 10:05:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6978901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anythingbutplatonic/pseuds/anythingbutplatonic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coming to terms with the fact that you just killed tens of thousands of people indirectly isn’t easy. Luckily, Oliver is there to help Felicity try and ease some of her guilt. </p>
<p>Episode reaction/missing scene fic for 4x21 “Monument Point”.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolution

“Felicity.”

It’s the familiar rumble of Oliver’s voice, distorted through the voice modulator, coming from the comms that cuts through the shock and and guilt fogging her brain as she watches the disaster at Havenrock unfold. 

She did this. She _did_  this. Those deaths, that destruction - it’s on _her._

Lyla seemed to think that tens of thousands was better than a couple million, and perhaps it was, somehow  But that was still _tens of thousands_  of lives, all snuffed out in a single instant. 

She’d readily accepted the title ‘hacktivist’ in college. Hell, Captain Lance had accused her of cyberterrorism three years ago and she hadn’t disagreed. But _mass murderer_? That wasn’t who she was. That wasn’t who she had wanted to be.

Then Rubicon had to be stopped, and it was the only choice available - which wasn’t, really, a choice at all. 

“Felicity...it’s not your fault.”

_Isn’t it though?_

She croaked, “All those people....” Then her voice cracked, shock taking over and seeming to paralyze her mind and body as she babbled, “ _Oliver_. Oliver, I killed them all. I killed all those people, oh my God...I’m no better than Malcolm Merlyn.”

“You are _nothing_ like Merlyn!”

The ferocity of the statement makes her jump, startled. She wipes away the tear rolling down the side of her nose and sniffs. 

“How are you sure?”

There was a faint click, and Oliver turned his voice modulator off. When he next spoke, it wasn’t in the harsh artificial intonations of the Green Arrow, but the ordinary tones of Oliver Queen, the man she knew and trusted implicitly, more than anyone else in her life. Even now.

Scratch that - e _specially_  now. 

“You’re a good person. I know that firsthand, and I think you do too. And you need to remember that  _you didn’t have a choice_. It was a split-second decision and any one of us would have made that call. This is HIVE doing this, not you. It could have been a lot worse and it wasn’t _because_ of you. You’re a hero, Felicity. You saved people. And that’s not easy to do.”

She wiped at her eyes, though she knew Oliver couldn’t see her anyway. She wrinkled her nose to readjust her glasses. “I know.” 

“Please don’t hate yourself for doing this.”

It was the plea in the instruction that almost made her say it - “ _I love you.”_

But she held her tongue and tried to ignore the fact that the timidity and begging in Oliver’s voice was slashing through her chest like a jagged knife. 

“I wish I never had to do it to begin with,” she whispered. 

“I know. I understand, Felicity, I really do.”

And Felicity knew that he did. He had firsthand experience of doing things he wished he’d never had to in the first place. It was never an easy decision to make when you were in that kind of situation, but those kinds of decisions _needed_  to be made. If you didn’t make them, somebody else would. 

She’d learned that, over the years as the assistant to a team of vigilantes, and from loving a vigilante. 

“I’m - I’m going to switch off my comm now,” Felicity said, wringing her hands together in front of her body. “Um, bye?”

Implicitly, he seemed to understand what she was trying to say. “I’ll give you some time alone. Bye, Felicity.”

“Bye.”

Felicity switched off her comm with a rustle and click. 

She was alone with her thoughts - and her guilt - once again. 


End file.
